My son turned one!
As my son completes his first trip around the sun, I can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia for him as a newborn and simultaneously feel a deep sense of gratitude. I am beyond lucky I get to be Beck’s mama.
His birthday falls at a rather interesting time in history. When I reflect back on a year ago today, we were on the precipice of a new life. Not just one that comes with being a new parent but also the new life that was birthed out of a global pandemic.
To say that it has been all easy and joyful would be a lie. Parenting is hard. Navigating keeping my newborn, myself and my husband safe amongst a global pandemic filled me with panic and anxiety. Not to mention, the postpartum period filled me with anxiety in a way that I can only wonder why we don’t know more about women’s hormones and how it affects mood and wellbeing.
My family was fortunate because the pandemic offered us a silver lining. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to spend Beck’s first year of life bonding with him and my husband.
Yesterday was the anniversary of the day I went into labor and it was also International Women’s Day. It has me thinking about the strength it takes to create and birth new life, and to simply just be a woman. It has me thinking about what makes a woman strong.
This week began with the release of Oprah’s interview with Meghan Markle. I’m so glad I watched it. Meghan spoke honestly and candidly about her mental health and her thoughts of taking her own life, all at a time when she transitioning into motherhood. She talked about how she had been a waitress, a princess, an actress, and yet the the most important title she will ever have is “Mom”. Don’t us moms know it?
This to me is the epitome of strength. These are the things I want Nestful to hold space for, the ability to be vulnerable with utmost self-compassion for whatever arises. The ability to know what we need, and to ask for help when we can’t figure it out on our own. For me, mindfulness is the ability to really allow ourselves to be human, to have mixed emotions and to be with the whole of our experience.
The amount of joy I feel today is overwhelming. My parents always tell me how much joy I’ve brought into their lives and until I had my own child, I always thought they were exaggerating. Being a parent brings me an overwhelming feeling of joy. I am proud of myself, and I am honored to be in the role of a lifetime as I celebrate my son for being here.
This is for all the moms out there feeling a multitude of emotions every day. Motherhood is hard, beautiful, tiring, joyful, sad, scary, exciting. Motherhood is all of the things. I hope you know you have space to hold more than one truth at the same time, and that there are moms everywhere with their arms open waiting to support you and waiting to hear your story.